Kansas City Voices, an annual, last week chose a poem of mine for its 2010 edition, but the judge (his assistant called him "the poetry editor of the Kansas City Star") had suggested some changes in it. Open to suggestions? I always am; that's the nature of our business; plus, I had submitted that work in March and have since revised it, so I knew it needed revision. The assistant e-mailed me the judge's version of the poem. Golly.
Knowing that editors are not writers' enemies but their best friends, I gave the suggestions their due. About half of them would not harm the poem; about a quarter of them would help.
I printed out "their" preferred version and came up with my "corrected corrected" version. Naturally they were on deadline, so the assistant and I then worked by phone to reach a meeting of minds. I had cut out an image she liked. I explained how it was "over the top," and she suddenly saw that and agreed. I had deleted another line she said she hated to lose, so I let it back in. This mutual tweaking took about twenty minutes.
The result: The poem is better than when I sent it, and we are now both satisfied. How did that happen? Respectful. Calm. Informed. Orderly.
Showing posts with label editors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label editors. Show all posts
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
They'll Do It Every Time
Poets who have poems accepted frequently tell each other, "...and from the set of poems I sent, the editor picked the one I liked least," or "the one that I thought was weakest," ....thereby creating a "Can I Get a Witness" moment:
"That happens to me, too!"
"They never take what I think are my best poems!"
"They took the one I sent as 'filler'!"
"I sent that one just to patronize them, and that's the one they printed!"
"They always do that!"
This phenomenon needs a name. Why do editors single out your least favorite submission when fellow poets, your teachers, and critics (who may or may not know you) zero in on the best ones right away? Is this a "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Come On-a My House" thing, where the artist freaks because his lamest song becomes the biggest hit?
In my case, I notice "they" "almost always" select the shortest of the poems I send, and then they always want changes in it. Either that, or it will appear with a typo or misprint (most recently: "indefinitely" instead of "infinitely"). It seems to be a joke that the universe plays on poets. But I say that only because otherwise I must conclude it's a joke poets play on themselves.
"That happens to me, too!"
"They never take what I think are my best poems!"
"They took the one I sent as 'filler'!"
"I sent that one just to patronize them, and that's the one they printed!"
"They always do that!"
This phenomenon needs a name. Why do editors single out your least favorite submission when fellow poets, your teachers, and critics (who may or may not know you) zero in on the best ones right away? Is this a "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Come On-a My House" thing, where the artist freaks because his lamest song becomes the biggest hit?
In my case, I notice "they" "almost always" select the shortest of the poems I send, and then they always want changes in it. Either that, or it will appear with a typo or misprint (most recently: "indefinitely" instead of "infinitely"). It seems to be a joke that the universe plays on poets. But I say that only because otherwise I must conclude it's a joke poets play on themselves.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
What Literary Magazines Are For
I figured out what litmags are for. Like medical and scientific journals such as The New England Journal of Medicine, Glia, or Wounds (great name for a journal!), they publish discoveries – in our case, discoveries in literature. The best litmags bring to light new, surprising, well-wrought and fascinating things. They change our perceptions, even our lives. That's why we still talk about The Dial, transition, Perspective, and Ironweed, litmags long gone.
A “peer-reviewed” journal published mainly for specialists will never have a big subscription base. But like a medical journal, if a litmag's contents truly advance the cause of life, it gets into the news and attracts readers. And it is worth printing hard copies so people can read it anywhere and everywhere.
Ultimately a litmag is about service.
It's not about service when litmag editors publish mainly their friends’ work; try to canonize their own taste by publishing same-old-same-old, and derivatives of same-old; attempt to use editorship to enhance their status or careers; rule their litmags as their little personal empires; or if the editors don't like editing but can't or won't get another job.
A “peer-reviewed” journal published mainly for specialists will never have a big subscription base. But like a medical journal, if a litmag's contents truly advance the cause of life, it gets into the news and attracts readers. And it is worth printing hard copies so people can read it anywhere and everywhere.
Ultimately a litmag is about service.
It's not about service when litmag editors publish mainly their friends’ work; try to canonize their own taste by publishing same-old-same-old, and derivatives of same-old; attempt to use editorship to enhance their status or careers; rule their litmags as their little personal empires; or if the editors don't like editing but can't or won't get another job.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Get Born
Acquaintance, perhaps 20 years younger than I, has finished his first novel (writing it, not reading it), and isn't sure if it's good or saleable. He said he gave it to five friends to read. One friend read it; no word from the other four. He expressed anxiety. What I saw was a writer being born. It ain't pretty.
Picking up the forceps, I said, "Why don't you hire a professional editor to read it and give you feedback?"
He said, "But that's so counterintuitive!"
Clamping the forceps around his head, I said, "Business is counterintuitive. But business is part of writing. We can be 90 percent artist, but have to be 10 percent businessperson."
Then I decided I didn't have the right to yank on him; he might yet be 10 to 20 years away from being ready to be born as a (professional) writer. But if he's ready, he will:
-budget to pay for professional advice.
-not be scared to learn a professional's opinion. In fact he will be eager for it.
-realize he needs help, that he can't do it alone or with just one or two writer friends his own age.
-see that I am not trying to drag him down to my (less talented) level; I'm just telling him something I learned.
Picking up the forceps, I said, "Why don't you hire a professional editor to read it and give you feedback?"
He said, "But that's so counterintuitive!"
Clamping the forceps around his head, I said, "Business is counterintuitive. But business is part of writing. We can be 90 percent artist, but have to be 10 percent businessperson."
Then I decided I didn't have the right to yank on him; he might yet be 10 to 20 years away from being ready to be born as a (professional) writer. But if he's ready, he will:
-budget to pay for professional advice.
-not be scared to learn a professional's opinion. In fact he will be eager for it.
-realize he needs help, that he can't do it alone or with just one or two writer friends his own age.
-see that I am not trying to drag him down to my (less talented) level; I'm just telling him something I learned.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Are We Feeling Better Yet?
Some contributing writers and the editors at the book launch today, 11/19, for the fabulous new anthology Are We Feeling Better Yet? Women Speak About Health Care in America 
(Penultimate Press), edited by Colleen McKee and Amanda Stiebel. Book will be on Amazon.com very soon; $19.95; click here to see and order directly from the publisher, St. Louis's only nonprofit press. The book -- 21 essays, three years in the making -- will make a great holiday gift for any woman finding herself in contact with the U.S. health care hydra. In the photo, left to right: Amanda Stiebel, Cathy Luh, Janet Edwards, Corrine McAfee, Denise Bogard, Colleen McKee, Catherine Rankovic. Penultimate Press, run by Winnie Sullivan, is a nonprofit organization. Taken at the University of Missouri-St. Louis.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The Book the Poet Wants
A publisher kept my friend's poetry-book manuscript for 14 months before finally rejecting it with the comment, "This needs to be cooked down."
In other words, condensed. Shortened.
The poet then for the umpteenth time changed and rearranged the ms. -- product of 11 years of effort -- and "cooked it down." It's not necessarily better. But it's thinner.
Publishers are free to reject any manuscript. Editors can and should pinpoint weak or oafish poems. But "cook down" a manuscript? Why? Is it too long? Too luxuriant? Why do poetry books have to be so thin? Will "cooking it down" better please the readership and generate profitable sales? Unlikely. The publisher won't market the book -- that's the author's job -- so it's not a matter of marketability, either.
A poet's manuscript is as carefully crafted as any poem. Selecting, sifting and arranging -- editing one's own poetry book -- is the work of months. Do editors know that? If so, they might respect it -- and the fact that no one can know better than the poet how a long a ms. should be or how it should go.
So what is this "cook it down" unless it's another needle to stick into the poet, whose soul is already bristling with needles and knife handles?
In other words, condensed. Shortened.
The poet then for the umpteenth time changed and rearranged the ms. -- product of 11 years of effort -- and "cooked it down." It's not necessarily better. But it's thinner.
Publishers are free to reject any manuscript. Editors can and should pinpoint weak or oafish poems. But "cook down" a manuscript? Why? Is it too long? Too luxuriant? Why do poetry books have to be so thin? Will "cooking it down" better please the readership and generate profitable sales? Unlikely. The publisher won't market the book -- that's the author's job -- so it's not a matter of marketability, either.
A poet's manuscript is as carefully crafted as any poem. Selecting, sifting and arranging -- editing one's own poetry book -- is the work of months. Do editors know that? If so, they might respect it -- and the fact that no one can know better than the poet how a long a ms. should be or how it should go.
So what is this "cook it down" unless it's another needle to stick into the poet, whose soul is already bristling with needles and knife handles?
Friday, July 11, 2008
Annie Dillard Helped
Annie Dillard (nee Meta Ann Doak) helped me today as I chose 6 unpublished poems to submit to an anthology that is no sure thing, that I suspect might never be finished or published. So I wanted to hold back a couple of poems just too good for it, thinking: I bet these could impress a bigger editor -- later. Then Dillard's words came to mind:
One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better.And I sent my 6 best poems and felt the rightness of it, the healthiness of having set them free, trusting that I will write even better ones. Thank you, Annie.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Your Editor Wants a PDF File?
Word comes from NYC that some editors don’t want paper manuscripts; they want digital PDFs (Portable Document Format) files.
Writers will need some kind of software to convert word-processing files to PDF files. This is also called “printing to” a PDF file. Here are some options. (Drop me a note if you know more.)
The more expensive the program, the more likely it is to deliver a “searchable” PDF file, which is nice for the editor; or preserve any hyperlinks or images you embedded in your ms.
Freeware:
CutePDFWriter. At http://www.cutepdf.com/Products/CutePDF/writer.asp. Widely used. You have to have a printer, and download an extra file. I’ve downloaded this one, but somehow it has never worked for me. Windows only.
Create PDF from MS Word only: http://www.doc2pdf.net/converter/PDF Online https://www.pdfonline.com/track.asp. I converted a 225-page ms.; took 12 minutes to get done and emailed to me, but otherwise fine. But PDF Online does not preserve hyperlinks, reduces image resolution, and leaves your PDF metadata, which is indexable by Google, empty.
Note: Some conversion “freeware” will rudely stamp or “watermark” your PDF with its name or logo.
Shareware:
You get a 15-day trial with http://www.go2pdf.com/; the Wondersoft Virtual PDF Printer; after that you must register and pay a “small fee” but they don’t say what it is. Converts files into and out of PDF form, which can be handy. You can buy a “Pro” version for $89.95.
Pay-For-It Ware:
I love the free Foxit PDF Reader which I recommend in place of the Adobe Reader. Foxit will charge you $35, however, for one license for a Foxit PDF CREATOR, which is what you need for conversion. http://www.foxitsoftware.com/pdf/creator/ Don’t bother trying to “Get it Free” – in the most bizarre deal I’ve yet seen, it’ll force you to buy something on eBay or sign up for Yahoo Personals…
For $99.99/yr you can subscribe to unlimited Create Online PDF services by Adobe,
http://createpdf.adobe.com/cgi-feeder.pl/menu_prodinfo?BP=&LOC=en_US.
The trial version will make you “wait in line” for your conversion behind the paying folks. But with this you can make your PDF searchable, or turn a webpage into a PDF.
For $200-$400 there's Adobe Acrobat Professional software for your computer. It’s “bloatware,” a big program that clogs up your hard drive. It’ll do everything if you can make it work. I have version 6.0 and it works on PC but not laptop. Current version is 8.0.
For some of you, conversion software may be considered a business expense.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Talmudic Interpretation of "Poetry Cover Letter Protocol"
"Poetry Cover Letter Protocol" (below) is valuable new first-hand information. It's "new" because it supersedes information disseminated for 30 years. Take it serious.
It was once bandied about that editors cared about the work, not the cover letters -- so cover letters for poetry and fiction weren't needed unless your submission had been solicited, or you were sending it for a special issue, or if it was a simultaneous submission.
Listing recent publications in cover letters helps editors score and pigeonhole the poet before the editor sees the work. Such a list is also a clue to the poet's economic and social position, because if I'm systematically pursuing a career as a poet, working my way up through the lit journals year after year, my parents probably left me a trust fund or I married a lawyer. Thus the editor can see himself in the author, and perhaps sympathize -- because the editor is a poet as well.
Prizes prove that the poetry is the kind that currently wins prizes. (See Juvenal's Satires or St. Augustine's Confessions for a more holistic view of prizewinning poems and poets.)
Indicating that the poet is a college teacher, an editor, a curator, or librarian -- and omissions of anything else-- telegraphs the poet's educational level (master's level; probably MFA) and that the poet has leisure enough to read and to track literary trends. It also proves beyond a doubt that the poet is white. Thus the editor can see himself in the poet, and perhaps sympathize.
Enclosing an SASE implies that the poet wants the poems back, but I guess it doesn't hurt to spell it out.
Thanks, poetry editor, for your time. We apologize for impinging upon it by sending you poems. Please accept the coveted Artificial Difficulty Prize for March 2008.
It was once bandied about that editors cared about the work, not the cover letters -- so cover letters for poetry and fiction weren't needed unless your submission had been solicited, or you were sending it for a special issue, or if it was a simultaneous submission.
Listing recent publications in cover letters helps editors score and pigeonhole the poet before the editor sees the work. Such a list is also a clue to the poet's economic and social position, because if I'm systematically pursuing a career as a poet, working my way up through the lit journals year after year, my parents probably left me a trust fund or I married a lawyer. Thus the editor can see himself in the author, and perhaps sympathize -- because the editor is a poet as well.
Prizes prove that the poetry is the kind that currently wins prizes. (See Juvenal's Satires or St. Augustine's Confessions for a more holistic view of prizewinning poems and poets.)
Indicating that the poet is a college teacher, an editor, a curator, or librarian -- and omissions of anything else-- telegraphs the poet's educational level (master's level; probably MFA) and that the poet has leisure enough to read and to track literary trends. It also proves beyond a doubt that the poet is white. Thus the editor can see himself in the poet, and perhaps sympathize.
Enclosing an SASE implies that the poet wants the poems back, but I guess it doesn't hurt to spell it out.
Thanks, poetry editor, for your time. We apologize for impinging upon it by sending you poems. Please accept the coveted Artificial Difficulty Prize for March 2008.
Poetry Cover Letter Protocol
Address your envelope and cover letter to the poetry editor, using the correct name (forget Writers' Market, it's always out of date; check the mag's website instead) and, please, the correct gender indicator.
Start the letter by asking the editor to consider the enclosed poems for publication. If you happen to be sending the poems for a future "special" or "themed" issue of their magazine, say so.
Next paragraph: Write, "My work has appeared in. . . " and list your most recent poetry publications, a maximum of five of them. List any prizes won. If you have never published or won prizes, don't say so; just skip this paragraph.
Mention your schooling and profession only if it's related to literature. If not, skip this paragraph. Do not volunteer information such as "I am a stay-at-home mother of twin girls."
If you are "simultaneously submitting" the enclosed poems to other journals, put that in the letter -- but never say which journals they are. If not, skip this paragraph.
Be sure to say whether you want your manuscript returned or "recycled".
Thank the editor for his or her time.
Your SASE should have the magazine's return address in the upper left corner, and should be self-sealing.
Start the letter by asking the editor to consider the enclosed poems for publication. If you happen to be sending the poems for a future "special" or "themed" issue of their magazine, say so.
Next paragraph: Write, "My work has appeared in. . . " and list your most recent poetry publications, a maximum of five of them. List any prizes won. If you have never published or won prizes, don't say so; just skip this paragraph.
Mention your schooling and profession only if it's related to literature. If not, skip this paragraph. Do not volunteer information such as "I am a stay-at-home mother of twin girls."
If you are "simultaneously submitting" the enclosed poems to other journals, put that in the letter -- but never say which journals they are. If not, skip this paragraph.
Be sure to say whether you want your manuscript returned or "recycled".
Thank the editor for his or her time.
Your SASE should have the magazine's return address in the upper left corner, and should be self-sealing.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Dead Ends for Your Creative Writing
If you want quality readers such as literary agents, Pushcart Prize judges, famous writers, and Best American Poetry anthologists among your readers:
1. Don't submit to a brand-new literary journal. They don't have subscribers, and their newbie editors don't know enough to nominate their contents for Pushcart or other prizes.
2. Don't submit exclusively to journals edited by students in MFA programs. Because the editors change yearly, their contents are unpredictable and can be uneven, and because of this they are not taken very seriously. In fact these journals are referred to in the aggregate as "MFA rags."
3. If you win prizes from your local literary organization's contests and get that good work printed in the awards-ceremony program, or on the organization's website, that may be the last daylight your prizewinning work will ever see. Some litmag editors consider that work to have been "already published."
I think some MFA rags are wonderful, but if you're career-minded, learn to think differently. The above information from a seminar I attended last Saturday on poetry publishing.
1. Don't submit to a brand-new literary journal. They don't have subscribers, and their newbie editors don't know enough to nominate their contents for Pushcart or other prizes.
2. Don't submit exclusively to journals edited by students in MFA programs. Because the editors change yearly, their contents are unpredictable and can be uneven, and because of this they are not taken very seriously. In fact these journals are referred to in the aggregate as "MFA rags."
3. If you win prizes from your local literary organization's contests and get that good work printed in the awards-ceremony program, or on the organization's website, that may be the last daylight your prizewinning work will ever see. Some litmag editors consider that work to have been "already published."
I think some MFA rags are wonderful, but if you're career-minded, learn to think differently. The above information from a seminar I attended last Saturday on poetry publishing.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Tips for a Productive Writer's Conference
I listened at at the St. Louis Writers Guild networking workshop on Saturday and am passing on what I heard. Simple stuff! Yet it never crossed my mind!
1. Tough to part with the money for the conference or workshop? Consider it an investment in yourself.
2. Put your genre and the town and state you're from on your nametag. This increases the chances that you and others there will have something in common.
3. Carry extra pens and notepads (cheap ones) so that when someone says, "Wish I had a pen," or "Wish I'd brought some note paper," you can be their hero.
4. Stay at the hotel where the conference is held, not across town.
5. Go to as many sessions as there are. Even if there isn't a romance-writing session at 2:00 p.m., attend the poetry session. You might learn something. And go to the banquet thing even if it costs money and you don't really want to.
5. Pick up all handouts from all sessions. Put post-its on those you want to read carefully later, at home.
6. Don't feel bad about taking freebies such as bookmarks, tote bags, etc.
7. If you see someone who seems all alone, invite them into your group or to your table.
8. If you're meeting with an editor or agent, do NOT sit down and start reading to them the first chapter of your novel.
9. A conference is not a vacation. To get its benefits, work it.
10. Buy books from the authors there, and have them autographed. You might meet somebody.
11. Be liberal about giving out your business cards (the ones that say you're a writer). You do have some, don't you?
I didn't! And suddenly bizcards made sense! They'd make me more confident! So I checked out the free ones offered by vistaprint.com and finally designed and ordered some quite cheaply from 123print.com Can't wait to get them and show you.
1. Tough to part with the money for the conference or workshop? Consider it an investment in yourself.
2. Put your genre and the town and state you're from on your nametag. This increases the chances that you and others there will have something in common.
3. Carry extra pens and notepads (cheap ones) so that when someone says, "Wish I had a pen," or "Wish I'd brought some note paper," you can be their hero.
4. Stay at the hotel where the conference is held, not across town.
5. Go to as many sessions as there are. Even if there isn't a romance-writing session at 2:00 p.m., attend the poetry session. You might learn something. And go to the banquet thing even if it costs money and you don't really want to.
5. Pick up all handouts from all sessions. Put post-its on those you want to read carefully later, at home.
6. Don't feel bad about taking freebies such as bookmarks, tote bags, etc.
7. If you see someone who seems all alone, invite them into your group or to your table.
8. If you're meeting with an editor or agent, do NOT sit down and start reading to them the first chapter of your novel.
9. A conference is not a vacation. To get its benefits, work it.
10. Buy books from the authors there, and have them autographed. You might meet somebody.
11. Be liberal about giving out your business cards (the ones that say you're a writer). You do have some, don't you?
I didn't! And suddenly bizcards made sense! They'd make me more confident! So I checked out the free ones offered by vistaprint.com and finally designed and ordered some quite cheaply from 123print.com Can't wait to get them and show you.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Query Letters Are of the Devil
Today realized that queries are icky because they must be masterpieces of artifice. Show me all five writers who can do this flawlessly:
1. Find a potential publisher. (This is rather more involved than it sounds, like Step One of installing a new sink: "Remove old sink.")
2. Direct your query to the appropriate editor, using gender-appropriate salutation for any editor named "Kelly," "Tracey," "Casey," "Cameron," "Willie," "Micah," or "Kim." Phone if you must. Get it wrong and your butt is grass.
3. In the first paragraph, entice the editor with your proposal, hooking him/her within a sentence or two, but without giving too much away. Also give the editor a sense of what your writing is like.
4. Next paragraph, tell the editor in great detail why your idea is just right for his or her magazine or publishing firm. Be convincing.
5. Next, tell the editor what qualifies you as an author. Be convincing.
6. Do this all on a single page, with flawless format, spelling and punctuation.
7. Please don't mention payment!!! Only amateurs mention money!!!
8. Expect a rejection -- plan on it -- and when it comes, take it like a man, gird yourself up and do this all over again.
Writers, it's not us, but the system! Unite to overthrow it!
1. Find a potential publisher. (This is rather more involved than it sounds, like Step One of installing a new sink: "Remove old sink.")
2. Direct your query to the appropriate editor, using gender-appropriate salutation for any editor named "Kelly," "Tracey," "Casey," "Cameron," "Willie," "Micah," or "Kim." Phone if you must. Get it wrong and your butt is grass.
3. In the first paragraph, entice the editor with your proposal, hooking him/her within a sentence or two, but without giving too much away. Also give the editor a sense of what your writing is like.
4. Next paragraph, tell the editor in great detail why your idea is just right for his or her magazine or publishing firm. Be convincing.
5. Next, tell the editor what qualifies you as an author. Be convincing.
6. Do this all on a single page, with flawless format, spelling and punctuation.
7. Please don't mention payment!!! Only amateurs mention money!!!
8. Expect a rejection -- plan on it -- and when it comes, take it like a man, gird yourself up and do this all over again.
Writers, it's not us, but the system! Unite to overthrow it!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Don't Enter Writing Contests: But if you do. . .
To become a confident writer, don't enter writing contests, especially those that charge a fee. Your odds of winning are between 1 in 600 and 1 in 1200. If you like gambling, take that money and bet on a horse.
Where did I get those numbers? From editors who run writing contests for poetry, fiction, nonfiction, flash fiction, first books, and chapbooks.
Confident writers don't need to enter contests to prove themselves or impress other people. Save your time for improving your writing, maybe trying something new. Save your money for something you know you can get, like a better computer. Even if you did win, there are so many contests that no individual prize is worth much. The only prizes really worth having are those people nominate you for, and they nominate on the basis of good writing.
But, if you must discourage and hurt yourself by entering a "contest," here's some inside information if you want to almost win:
Poems: For local and regional contests, send poems about trees and flowers, and the seasons; if you have a "snow globe"poem or a patriotic poem, you might place. For a contest run by a literary journal, send a poem that berates yourself for living in North America while the rest of the world suffers.
Short fiction: Send stories about the lives of middle-class white professionals, particularly writers, editors, or teachers, and their relationships and sexual problems; be sure to mention their yoga class.
Flash fiction: The overall message of your flash fiction should be that "life is degrading" and the tone should be rueful. A little girl should appear as a character.
Essays: Use an exotic locale. Africa and Asia are preferred.
The above tips may double your chances, to about 1 in 300 and 1 in 600. Sound like odds you can handle?
For writers who believe they are above the odds, and entitled to win a prize because they have published or have an M.F.A.:
Things that Contest Judges Hate Right Now: Anything Midwestern; humorous or satirical poetry; work with a feminist outlook; fiction or essays about the blue-collar world or working women; anything that hints that digital technology is good; lesbians.
Where did I get those numbers? From editors who run writing contests for poetry, fiction, nonfiction, flash fiction, first books, and chapbooks.
Confident writers don't need to enter contests to prove themselves or impress other people. Save your time for improving your writing, maybe trying something new. Save your money for something you know you can get, like a better computer. Even if you did win, there are so many contests that no individual prize is worth much. The only prizes really worth having are those people nominate you for, and they nominate on the basis of good writing.
But, if you must discourage and hurt yourself by entering a "contest," here's some inside information if you want to almost win:
Poems: For local and regional contests, send poems about trees and flowers, and the seasons; if you have a "snow globe"poem or a patriotic poem, you might place. For a contest run by a literary journal, send a poem that berates yourself for living in North America while the rest of the world suffers.
Short fiction: Send stories about the lives of middle-class white professionals, particularly writers, editors, or teachers, and their relationships and sexual problems; be sure to mention their yoga class.
Flash fiction: The overall message of your flash fiction should be that "life is degrading" and the tone should be rueful. A little girl should appear as a character.
Essays: Use an exotic locale. Africa and Asia are preferred.
The above tips may double your chances, to about 1 in 300 and 1 in 600. Sound like odds you can handle?
For writers who believe they are above the odds, and entitled to win a prize because they have published or have an M.F.A.:
Things that Contest Judges Hate Right Now: Anything Midwestern; humorous or satirical poetry; work with a feminist outlook; fiction or essays about the blue-collar world or working women; anything that hints that digital technology is good; lesbians.
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